Forgiveness is… A Mindful Perspective on Forgiveness

Ever feel like someone has done something that is completely unforgivable? Does it make your stomach churn just at the thought of that person? Does what they have done keep you up at night? Maybe it is time to look at forgiveness in a different light. 

Forgiveness means not only forgiving the other but also forgiving yourself. Forgiveness does not mean the action was right or okay. It merely means accepting it as a moment in time and realizing that only you have the power to determine the negativity or positivity of it. 

Nothing is inherently negative or positive, it just is. It is the ego that projects that moment as negative or positive. When you accept that the moment or situation, “just is,” you can step back and reflect as a divine being rather than a human ego. This is easier said than done, as the ego fears rejection of the set emotions. Ego thrives on reaction and the need to dwell or obsess over the situation. 

To step back and just let things “be” without placing emotion on them is truly divine. Breathe deeply and view each situation from the larger picture… just a moment in time, a grain of sand. Ego takes that grain of sand and builds a mountain. 

The true divine self knows it is just a grain of sand yet the ego disguises it and obsesses over it making it much bigger and more powerful that it truly is. 

Each event is just a grain of sand… a speck of dust. When viewed from above should be recognized for what it is… just a moment in time. 

You are in control… you get to decide. Will you allow ego to fabricate reality causing anxiousness, stress and pain? Or will you feel it for the moment and let it pass. One grain of sand amongst the others.

Forgiveness is very powerful because it will set you free from the hurt and pain that you are holding. It may never make that event or situation okay, but it will allow you to move on and thrive. To forgive is truly divine. 

Mindful Moments: Finding the Inner Calm in a Career Driven Life

Are you driven to achieve your goals and will not let anything stand in your way? Do you find yourself getting completely overwhelmed by all that you are doing to run your business, juggle family and maybe get out to see friends once in a while. Sure you have maybe read or heard about this mindfulness stuff.  Maybe you know how important it is to help find balance in your life yet think I cannot add one more thing to my to do list. You think I don‘t have the time or money to invest in retreats and all this hokey pokey spiritual stuff that is supposed to help. 

Guess what, you can practice mindfulness anytime and anywhere. You do not need to go on retreats and learn from gurus to be mindful. It definitely helps but it is not a requirement to start bringing mindfulness into your daily life. You can learn to find mindfulness in the daily moments. 

I am a busy single mom, teacher, author and entrepreneur. I finished a Masters degree while juggling a toddler, working full time and going through a very unhealthy, for me, divorce. Slowly I have learned to become mindful amongst how overwhelming life can be sometimes. 

When I first started learning about mindfulness I thought I had to go to spiritual retreats and practice yoga everyday to consider myself a mindful person. While I have attended a few retreats and have at times practiced yoga everyday those things in and of themselves do not make you mindful. Just as being able to do yoga poses perfectly does not make you a yogi… it makes you an acrobat. 

It is the same for mindfulness, going on numerous spiritual retreats doesn’t make you mindful unless you truly learn how to train your mind to become more present. You could go on hundreds of retreats and still never learn to master mindfulness. What is within everyone’s grasp though, is to learn to become a little more mindful each day. 

Mindfulness truly comes from within and training your brain to be conscious of the times when life starts to become completely overwhelming and you need to reset. You may be thinking I don’t have time to reset. Here is the thing about mindfulness you can if you train your brain to be mindful enough to start recognizing the moments in your day when you just need a moment to reset you are already on a path to becoming more mindful. 

 It can be as simple as taking a moment to just breathe and get grounded on your way to work or in the shower. To be completely honest the shower is one of my favourite places to get mindful. Weird right. The shower works for me because I am alone, there are no distractions and I can become completely aware of my surroundings. I can’t get distracted by my phone or emails or cleaning the house or whatever it is that my daughter demands that day. I have time to take a moment and focus on my breath, time to notice how I am feeling in my body, to be conscious of where my mind is at. Sometimes just taking a moment to get grounded and reset in the shower is all the time I may have for my mindfulness practice that day and that is okay. 

When you practice mindfulness it is not about comparing how mindful you are to others. It is about getting real with yourself and your needs. What do you need to let go of? What can you find a moment to be grateful for? What can you do to be a little more kind to yourself? 

Beginning a gratitude practice can also help you begin a path to mindfulness. When I first got divorced I wrote in a gratitude journal daily for almost 3 years. Each night before I would go to bed I would lie in bed and write down 10 things I was grateful for. It helped me truly get through some of the darkest days of my life. Going to bed each night with the intention of gratitude helped me sleep better, gave me more confidence and kept me going. While I do not write in my journal daily anymore. Anytime I start to feel as though life is getting a bit more than I can handle I pick up my journal and start writing what I am grateful for each night until that uncertain and ungrounded time passes. 

Are you ready to get more grounded and balanced in your life? Then it is time to take baby steps in becoming more mindful and present. One of my favourite authors, Louise Hay, always says, “The point of power is always in the present moment.” Get present and you will begin an amazing new path to mindfulness. 

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