Learning to Let Go
Learning to let go of something that is keeping you stuck is sometimes really hard to do. This is because so often our subconscious minds are holding on to something and keeping us stuck. Even when we consciously realize, what we are doing is a pattern that is keeping us stuck. So often the subconscious pattern will override especially in times of stress.
For example, we all know that in order to eat healthy we should have a variety of foods and focus on eating non-processed foods. Yet so often we find ourselves reaching for something quick when we are in a rush or going to the nearest fast food restaurant to curb our hunger. When asked consciously what you should eat to lead a healthy lifestyle almost everyone can tell you exactly what they need to do. Yet so few do on a regular basis.
What needs to happen is a shift in your subconscious that will allow your brain to redirect you every time you fall back into that pattern. When my daughter was little I was very aware of this and my motto for her was always, ‘you can eat what you want as long as you have the healthy option first.’ Later, I had a friend tell me that because they had heard me with my daughter they had also shifted their pattern. So whenever they reached for their subconscious eating patterns they could hear my voice in their head saying, ‘healthy first.’ That tiny shift in their subconsciousness allowed them to make healthier choices on a regular basis.
One reason we struggle with ridding ourselves of our subconscious patterns is because we need to replace the subconscious pattern with a new subconscious pattern. The pattern can be a subtle shift like the little voice saying, “healthy first.” When we begin to make small changes and stick with them we are able to maintain them and they become our new subconscious pattern.
When I stopped drinking alcohol I did exactly this. I was never a big drinker and I honestly think I am allergic to alcohol. Even one glass of organic wine would make me feel like crap the next day, I would still go out with my friends and go for ‘drinks,’ only instead of having a glass of wine I would just order a cran soda instead. When I went to parties I would bring fun bubbly water drinks that were my special occasion drinks that even looked like wine coolers. Unless someone asked what I was drinking or knew prior that I didn’t drink, no one would have known the difference. My fun with my friends didn’t change, all I did was remove one tiny thing that was not serving me and replaced it with something that was. I am not in any way saying people need to stop drinking alcohol. What I am saying is that with anything that you want to shift in your life you need to find a replacement otherwise the subconscious will take over and you will be back doing the same thing you always have in the same way.
When we start to become conscious of the things that are no longer serving us we can learn to let them go by retraining our subconscious minds. If you need to let go of a past relationship what is one tiny shift that you could do? When you normally would call or text them, you could shift it to texting or calling a trusted friend instead. If you need to let go of stressors on the job. What could you shift your focus to so that those stressors do not affect you as much? As a teacher I focus on the joy of the students and do my best to ignore all of the other stressors and make work projects that come with my career. When I can shift my thinking to the fun with the kids I can completely shift my perspective and let go of many of my frustrations with the system.
So often people want someone or something to change in order for them to find what they are searching for. This is one of the biggest illusions that we need to let go of. Everything that you need comes from within yourself. If you are unhappy with your current situation, you are the only one who can change it. This involves letting go of blame and shaming of others.
This realization comes with a lot of healing and a lot of self awareness. Learning to let go of things that you cannot control is literally a life long journey. The good thing is that once we learn strategies to help us let go, each time we are faced with another stressor we have the tools within ourselves to help us grow and heal faster and with more ease.
What are some of the things that you need to let go of? Are you still holding anger and resentment towards a past relationship? Can you let go and forgive them to free yourself from the stress it is causing you? Forgiveness is not about making what the other did right or okay. It is about freeing yourself of the toxicity that holding on to that anger and resentment is causing you. When you hold on to anger it is like the saying where you drink the poison yet expect the other to die from it. Holding on to it does not help anyone. You can let go of anger towards someone and never have to interact with them. The letting go involves only you shifting your awareness from anger to ease.
Whenever I come across things I am holding on to I try to shift my thinking to a place of gratitude and ask myself, “What can I learn from this situation and how has it helped me grow?” Each day we have the opportunity to let go of things that are no longer serving us, that is the beauty of life. Those struggles and frustrations may emerge again, yet once you have the ability to be consciously aware you will reset so much faster and be able to heal on a deeper level.
I challenge you to think of what is no longer serving you and find one tiny switch that you can make to shift your subconscious pattern. You will be amazed at how your life will change when you begin to let go of what is no longer serving you by replacing it with things that do.
Are you feeling stuck and want to let go of the things that do not serve you? Stay tuned for more information on my, “Empower your Life Course.” Which will be launched this fall.
