New Beginnings and Saying Yes to You When a relationship ends it is a new beginning and an opportunity for you to say yes to yourself, to become a better version of yourself. It sometimes is really hard to see past the hurt and the pain at the moment. Instead of viewing an ending as a negative, begin to rewire your thought process to view it as an opportunity for you to learn and grow. It is like the saying when one door closes another opens. Every relationship in life is an opportunity for learning and growing even in friendships.
When any relationship ends it is not because of one event or action. Generally, relationships break down over time and the dissolution of the relationship is a result of many actions and events that cause people to grow apart and resent each other. The anger, resentment, hurt and pain grow over time and eventually comes to a head when the relationship ends. Or you just grow apart and eventually realize that you no longer want the same things. Sometimes this form of dissolution of a relationship can be harder because there is no main event to ‘blame’ it on.
Regardless of how a relationship ended each day we have the opportunity to start a new and better life for ourselves one day at a time. We always have the opportunity for growth and change. Your healing path begins when you decide to say ‘yes’ to you.
When relationships end there are often people who will have an opinion of your decisions and try to persuade you in one way or the other. It is important to spend time really getting clear on what you want in your life and what you can do to empower your life each day. It is really important to not let others persuade you in the direction of their opinion, wants, or needs. You are the only one who can empower your life so you need to really dive deep into what you really want and who you want to become.
When you begin to get clear on your vision and begin to live from your highest vibration you may need to develop strategies for setting healthy ‘for you’ boundaries. Boundaries can be difficult to set because as you grow into a more confident version of yourself there will be people who try to hold you back and keep you stuck. They will not like the changes you are making and this is okay. The thing is, when you begin to choose you, your vibration changes and you will no longer vibe with the people who held you back. You will begin to vibe with people who are also on a growth path. When you set healthy ‘for you’ boundaries you do not have control over how the people you set the boundary with will react. All you have control over is your reaction and behavior. Setting healthy ‘for you’ boundaries is a very important step in empowering your life.
Sometimes the only way to heal is to decide to completely shift your life to surround yourself with different people and surroundings to aid in the healing process.
If you were naive when it came to understanding abuse, in the past, be gentle with yourself and know that that version of you was doing the best that they could with the skills that they had at the time. Once you begin to explore boundaries in relationships you may begin to notice the need to set boundaries with abusive behavior in all areas of your life.
One lesson on boundary setting is to brainstorm and talk out scenarios of how people you are setting the boundary with may react. This work is really important because it allows for exploration of both the best and worst case scenarios and everything in between, before actually setting the boundary. Again, you have no control over how the people you are setting your boundary with will react so you need to be mentally prepared for a number of different possible outcomes.
Be warned and prepared ahead of time, the people you set the boundaries with may not always take it in the ‘best’ case scenario, this has nothing to do with you. It is about their path and journey and where they are at in their healing. People may blame and shame you and try to break your boundaries many times. No matter what happens, trust that you are on a healing path. Your boundaries are necessary for you.
When you shift and change, the people who were holding you back will not like it. They will try to pull you back down where they had control and keep you stuck. The only person who has the power to get you out of any situation you are in is you. You have no idea how much power you have within yourself until you begin to stand up for yourself and work on becoming the best version of yourself. The best version of you starts with the beginning to set boundaries.
Learning to tell people what you want and learning how to say ‘no’ can be a very uncomfortable experience. It is important to learn to sit with discomfort, learn to self-reflect, and use clear concise communication.
When you begin to work on your mental health you will begin to realize the only way for you to heal is to remove yourself from the people and situations that contribute to your mental dis-ease. Which is a huge step and not always an easy one. Yet if you do not learn to set healthy boundaries you will continue the same pattern over and over again.
The dissolution of a relationship is the perfect time for you to learn how to set healthy boundaries and begin to break the patterns that have kept you stuck for your entire life. Those patterns may have kept you stuck for years in an unhealthy marriage or relationship. The only way to move on from it is to begin to heal from the inside out. Healing is an inside job that can be impacted by the outside world.
Saying yes to you can be as simple as saying no when you do not want to go out one evening. It could be taking time to begin a new hobby or learn a new skill. If you are not sure about what saying yes to you feels like taking time to get really centered and ask yourself, is this something I really want to do? If the answer is no then you politely decline.
When you choose you and make your healing a priority you will be amazed at how fast your life shifts, how much lighter you feel and how much better your outlook on this one beautiful life that you have is. We only have one life to live. When you begin to make the most of each day and step into your power through boundaries you will begin to see the beauty in so many areas of your life. You will find more joy in the simple things like a good cup of coffee or taking time to slow down and smell the flowers.