Ways to See the Good
When you look at any situation do you focus on the good? Take a moment to sit with your thoughts and think about it. How often do you recall the negatives about some aspect of your life before you consider the positives?
Did you know there is actually research on why our brains tend to focus on the negatives of an event more than the positives even if both events are of the same magnitude? This is called negativity bias, we have a more emotional response to negative events than positive events and it is considered to be a survival mechanism from prehistoric times. It is believed that those who were more attuned to negative stimuli or danger were more likely to survive.
When we look at relationships there is also research that has found we need 5 positives to balance out one negative in order for the relationship to be happy and healthy. If people have even equal positive interactions to negative interactions the relationship will eventually fall apart. This is linked to our negativity bias and how our minds are wired to focus on the negative as a mechanism for survival.
The good thing about being conscious of our negativity bias is that we can actually use this knowledge to help us rewire our brains for the positive. Whenever you catch your brain focusing on the negatives you can pause. Take a breath and calm your mind by saying to yourself, “I breath in good and let go of what is not serving me.”
Years ago I was in a yoga teacher training and we were asked to write the story of our lives as an exercise to share. When the stories were read aloud all of them focused on many of the negative events that happened in their lives. Then after listening to the first versions of our stories we were asked to rewrite the stories of our lives focusing on the positives of the events that happened to us or for us. It is such an interesting and empowering exercise to do because it allows people to clearly see how a shift in perspective on the exact same events can actually empower your life.
Any hardship that a person has lived through can be viewed as a strength. Especially once you are on the other side of the struggle. I know for myself I view the struggles of my divorce as one of my biggest strengths and gifts in life because without that experience I would not have my daughter and would not be able to help others in the capacity that I can now.
This week I challenge you to write out your story. Then sit with it see how your perspective of the events of your life keep you stuck. After rewrite your story from the lens of personal growth and opportunity. Notice how you feel after. As the week goes on take note of events throughout your week that you are struggling with, sit with them and focus on ways that you can learn and grow from whatever it is that you are growing through. View your trials and tribulations as gifts for growth and see how your mindset can truly shift everything.
