You swept into my life and made me believe you understood many aspects of me. Of who I was as a person, what I valued, you valued, mirrored my goals, and you understood my trauma. You even went to the extent of mirroring that trauma. I felt you were one of the only people who understood what I was going through.
All of this was a sneaky form of manipulation to entangle me into your web of lies. That must have made you feel powerful and fed your sick need of getting fuel from each source, no matter how you chose to feed. How calculated each lie was has me floored and confused because, as an empath, I just don’t understand you. I do not understand the need to lie and manipulate, as that only fuels hate. What a miserable life that must be to live where you never understand the value of what it truly means to give.
You are so “kind, loving, and great,” but only use these qualities as a tool to manipulate. That deceit is only fueled by hate. Hating yourself and that poor inner child must be challenging to live with. You scramble through life feeling empty and raw, hoping no one ever becomes aware of your fatal flaw.
But guess what? Sometimes you slip up, and your true self is revealed. When it does, it causes you to spin out of control into a gaslighting monster that cannot truly relate to any realistic fate. How you can deny the truth when the evidence is proper before you is entirely laughable and makes me pity you. It must be such an awful way to live, constantly lying to people who care for you and only genuinely wish to give.
Before you, I thought I understood Narcissism, that I “knew” the signs, and that I had already experienced so much trauma from your kind. A man was blind to the different forms you can take. The deep level of manipulation and deceit I can not even fathom. Yet here I sit today, eyes open and clear to all the smoke and mirrors from the past few years. With this new clarity, I am so glad I discovered what you are.
So the No Contact will be a piece of cake because I have value just as I am. I do not need anyone to fill my cup, as I can form self-love. This is a quality you will never have, which is indeed quite sad.
I can see you for what you indeed are. I know the lies will never stop, the victims will continue to change, and your source will consistently get devalued and tossed away as your toxic cycle repeats over and over again. This “life” you choose to live is filled with sadness. You will never be able to honestly look within and find value in who you are. The world has so much good, yet something terrible must have happened to you that you cannot see the value of just being you. There is never a need to lie, cheat and manipulate; when you do this, you are filling your soul with hate.
The joy in this all is that I am more substantial than you ever expected me to be. I take this lesson gracefully and will use it to empower me to help others who have been entangled in your abuse. The empathetic traits that you took as a weakness are a strength. As I can feel on a level, you will never understand. Feeling love will always be something you grasp for but can’t get, which is genuinely grand.
So you may have left other victims in a puddle or a shell of who they indeed are and will continue to do this on an endless cycle of despair. You did not break me; you only gave me more power to heal, so thank you for that gift. I wish you well, but know your life is my living hell.
If you expose a narcissist, the best thing to do is to protect yourself first. Take some time to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. You may want to consult with a mental health professional who can help you understand the situation’s dynamics and provide guidance on how best to handle it. It may also be helpful to contact family and friends for support. Additionally, try to practice self-care and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence, as this can help you better cope with the situation and move forward.
The term “Narcissist” seems to be a massive buzzword for experiencing someone with a grandiose sense of self, an inflated ego, and a person who believes the world revolves around them. In our increasingly self-centered world, it seems as though there is an increase in this type of behavior. The thing is, everyone has narcissistic traits. Even the most empathetic of people have some narcissistic behaviors. So does that mean everyone is a narcissist? NO! Some extreme forms of Narcissism can be traumatic and leave the person involved with someone with the more extreme narcissistic traits a former shell of themselves. These relationships can take various forms: parents, children, friendships, and intimate partnerships.
If you are in a relationship with someone and certain things seem off, you cannot quite focus on what it is. Try to sit back and observe to see if they exhibit narcissistic traits. Narcissistic traits can include a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, lack of empathy, entitlement, self-centeredness, manipulative behavior, exploiting others, arrogance, extreme jealousy, and preoccupation with success. Sometimes it can take a long time to see through the lies and manipulation; however, when you finally unveil what has been going on, you can begin to heal and move forward. Part of that healing journey may be to connect with your inner creativity. Here is a free resource that can help
Love and Light